"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thought. With our thoughts we make the world"- The Dhammapada





“We are connected to everyone and everything”

In my last post we discussed how to deal with “toxic ties”. But what about those “toxic ties” which we cannot avoid?  While we are able to cut many toxic ties out of our lives there are always situations in which you really cannot avoid dealing with that person. For example, a difficult family member, coworker, classmate, or neighbor. Whatever the case, it is important that we learn to deal with these people efficiently in order to keep them from draining our precious energy.  This is a personal struggle I’ve had in the past. It’s so easy to let someone drain your energy and deter you from following this path of spirituality and positivity.  It’s something that I constantly have to keep in check. I am always reevaluating my situation especially when I start to feel that I’m falling out of line with the intentions I have set for my life.

One strategy that has helped me in dealing with situations like this is looking at people with compassion.

“Twenty-Four brand new hours before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and look at all beings with eyes of compassion”- Thich Nhat Hanh

The definition of compassion is the understanding or empathy for the suffering of others. When you start to take personality out of the picture and look at these people simply through compassionate eyes you will come to a greater understanding of how to better deal with them. I’ve come to realize that people’s behaviors and actions are all a reflection of issues they are battling within themselves. I stopped taking people’s actions and behaviors personally and realizing that these were all a product of the demons and insecurities they are battling themselves.

“The heart is like a garden. It can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant?”- Jack Kornfield

This is all easier said than done. I struggle myself with it but I do make a conscious effort to live by this. YOU decide how much importance to give things. I used to take everything personally and allow people to get to me. It would sincerely take such a toll on my energy. But once I changed my perspective on how to deal with these situations, things started to get much easier. We work so hard to get to where we are, why allow ANYONE to have that much power to tear us right back down?

We don’t have to like everyone, but when it’s people that we have to deal with one way or another, we might as well find a way to relate to one another.  It’s important that we remember that we are ultimately connected to EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.  Whenever you find yourself feeling frustrated or drained with someone whom you cannot cut ties with send them to the light. If there is someone that is consistently draining your energy and you cannot seem to find a way to disconnect from that person try this meditation:

Close your eyes and envision that person in your mind. Imagine that person with a straw connected to your body sucking your energy. Then I want you to imagine yourself taking a scissor and snipping the straw. Hear the sound of straw snapping. And allow that tie to be released. This meditation has been quite helpful to me in difficult situations.

 “When we are willing to surrender ourselves to the qualities of love, compassion, forgiveness, graciousness, and kindness; we discover that we are never left void. Rather, we find that vast amounts of wisdom and kind heartedness are available to us at any given moment, just for the asking.” –Katherine Woodward Thomas

I’d like you all to try a meditation this week. It is one of my favorites and has helped me deal with stress and anxiety especially when feeling frustrated with others. I want you to close your eyes and relax. Taking deep breathes; I want you to breathe in Love and on the exhale breath out Fear.  I like to imagine that I’m breathing in pink air (calming love energy) and breathing out black air (toxic fear energy).

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